7 Things To Do Before You Relax Your Hair

This is a checklist for persons who are newly relaxed and for persons who have been relaxing for years. Some people who have been relaxing their hair for years experience hair shedding every time after they relax. Other persons, experience outright damage and breakage. There are a few things that you can do before you chemically process your hair that can mitigate damage to your precious strands.

1. Do A Hair Porosity Test

Hair porosity is the ability for your hair to absorb moisture. When hair is too porous, the cuticle of the hair is not completely together, under microscope it looks like a furry- legged insect with little fibers sticking up all along the hair shaft. This can be caused from over-processing of hair from relaxers, perms or coloring. The problem with porous hair is that it absorbs moisture too quickly. Which is not good as it can suck up color and chemicals much faster and eventually damage your hair. Hence, you want your hair to not be porous; the scales on your shaft should be tightly wrapped about your hair cuticle. This is hair that is difficult to color or relax because it doesn’t absorb what you are putting on the strands readily.

To test for porosity you will need a few strands of your hair, which can be taken from your comb and a bowl of water. Healthy hair will float on the water, which means that it does not absorb the water that it is placed in. On the other hand, very porous hair with an open cuticle will soak up water and sink.

Solution: Deep condition your hair with a conditioner that has both moisture and protein. Wait for a week and then do the test again. Do not relax your hair while it is porous.

2. Avoid Agitating Your Scalp
This is a common sense suggestion because we all know that agitating the scalp too soon before a relaxer is a big no-no. This means no scratching or rubbing or hitting your head too hard. If your hair is itching put a little coconut oil mixed with peppermint at the spot.

Wash your hair at least four days before getting a relaxer as this will ensure that your scalp has produced enough of your hairs natural lubricant (sebum) to help to protect it during the chemical application process. You can add some jojoba oil or castor oil to your scalp if you are relaxing your hair three or two days  after a wash to protect your scalp. This you can do at home before you head to the salon. If you wait too long to relax your hair after a wash you will find that your hair will itch more because it will attract dirt and dust.
3.  Avoid Sweat
It is recommended that a week before you relax your hair you avoid rigorous physical exercise that will allow sweat to sit on your scalp. Sweat is the bodies way to detoxify itself, it contains salt and waste, this is dehydrating to the scalp and can cause the hair to itch like crazy. This can cause scalp irritation if you give in to the sweet urge to scratch and cause scalp burns. Scalp burns should never be considered normal every time you visit the hairdresser.

4. Avoid Curly Hairstyles A Week Before

A week before you go to the hairdresser make sure that your hair is easy to comb out and it’s straight. Ensure that your two textures are easily seen by your hairdresser and that the hair is not tangled. Do not go to the hairdresser with broken hair and expect her to fix it in a single session while you are relaxing. Only healthy hair should be relaxed. Let your hairdresser ask you for tips on how to keep her hair healthy. Never go with damaged hair! Fix it first.

5. Wear Loose Styles

Styles like tight ponytails, braids or buns should all be avoided. Consciously slacken your hair accessories including pins and hair clips a week before you relax. Pay close attention to the things that you wear on your head and how it rubs on the edges of your hair. Do not wear tight hats or tie heads for up to a week before processing hair.

6. Avoid Alcohols and Gels

There are some styling products that contain alcohols that should be avoided before you relax your hair. I would say, avoid them altogether. However, a week before you relax your hair remember to not use any of these products. Neither should you use gels or other substances that can cause the hair to clump together. This makes it difficult to comb through your hair. Additionally, these products contribute to hair dryness.

7.Clarify

Clarify your hair two weeks before you get a relaxer using an apple cider vinegar rinse. Do not relax your hair with it weighed down by products, for best results use castor oil or jojoba on your strands alone before you relax hair.

299 Comments »

  • Tay said:

    Almost 2 months post relaxer did a porosity test and my strand sunk and I just did a deep conditioning last week ;(

  • NoScrunchie said:

    Thanks for this. Planning to relax my hair next week so this is quite useful.

  • lisa said:

    i went from natural to a relaxer ,and only had one relaxer about 4 months ago and i don’t like it so how long will it take for me to go back to my natural hair?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Lisa,
      It depends on how long your hair is. You see, relaxed hair does not revert, your natural hair will have to grow out and then you either gradually cut off the relaxed ends or cut them off all at once (otherwise known as the Big Chop).

      • lancy said:

        That’s not true. I went from relaxed to natural and it only took 1-2months. When you feel and look like you need a perm is your hair reverting back. Perms don’t last forever. If they did,you wouldn’t have to get them more than once.

        • Brenda Barrett said:

          Hi Lancy,

          Off course your natural hair will grow. The part of your hair that is relaxed CANNOT revert back to your natural hair. The protein bonds in that part of your hair are straightened out/broken by whatever chemicals were used to do this. You should only relax (or touch up) the part of your hair that is natural and growing out. I really hope this clarifies matters for you.

  • zuri williamson said:

    I have micro braids in and I wanted to do the two hours solution is to use conditioner in your hair a whole bunch in order to take out faster. can I relax my hair the next day? do I leave it or do I wash it out?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      No don’t relax your hair the next day. Give the scalp time to settle down after agitating it with removing the braids.

  • Zola said:

    Hi,
    How long should I wait to relax my hair after cholesterol hair treatment?

  • Shirley said:

    Hi I want to relax my hair the day after tommorrow but today I put on a leave in scalp treatment by follicure and udon know if my hair is ready to be relaxed or it looks like it because my last wash I didn’t do a rollers et I don’t want to overlap and I can’t remember when my last perm was I’d say 2months ago to be exact

  • alexis said:

    almost 2 months after last process…i did the porosity test with a strand of hair befor and after my last process (iv been really getting into hair care)they both floated however my after srand looked way thicker //is it safe to process soon even though it hasnt been a full 2 months

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Alexis,
      Is your hair growth visible? I am always wary of processing the hair too frequently. My suggestion would be to gradually stretch the time between your relax sessions. In a few months you will see the difference.

  • slimrande said:

    my hair has been shedding and severe tangling for 4months or more. The lady who does my hair was using tea tree by paul mitchell to wash my hair, I finally got her to stop using it about 3 weeks ago and noticed a big difference in the shedding and tangling. my other issue is my hair doesn’t feel or look relaxed. after I get it relaxed 2wks later it looks like i have no relaxer. My hair is growing it’s about shoulder length but I’m thinking about not relaxing it anymore since my whole head looks like I have no relaxer in it.. Your thoughts

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Since your hair is not looking relaxed anyway, then going natural seems to be a good step. Unless of course, you want to change your relaxer or stylist (or both) if you want to stay relaxed.

  • tyra said:

    If I scratched how long do I have to wait to apply my perm

  • heather said:

    How soon after relaxing if its not straight as a arrow can
    i relax again? Thanks

  • Cynthia W said:

    My hair has been breaking off. I switched shampoos and noticed it really started to break after the switch. Now I need to relax my hair. But I’m afraid to because of the breakage. I have been alternating between a protein treatment and a deep conditioning treatment when I wash my hair. What can I put on my hair to protect it since it is breaking off before I relax it?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Cynthia, please fix the breakage problem before you relax. Please, for your hair’s sake. Only relax healthy hair. Relaxing it with issues may further exacerbate the situation. Maybe when you switched shampoos, the newer one had harsher ingredients. What you could do for the next three or so weeks, do a hot oil treatment before every wash, only do protein treatments sparingly, some store bought protein treatments are really strong and can cause breakage if not used properly.

  • Brazil said:

    Hi Brenda! I want to know how to get my hair in good condition without paying a arm and a leg? Thanx

  • ellen said:

    im 55yoa when i comb gobs of hair r n my comb. when i shampoo more gobs. when i blow dry more gobs. should i deep condition befor i perm to help w/breakage.

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Wow, sounds like a lot of hair coming out. I would suggest some simple changes- incorporate more air drying than blow drying and use a shampoo that does not dry the hair out (the ones without sulfates). Deep conditioning a week before a relaxer is a good idea.Make the small changes suggested to your regimen though and see if the breakage is decreased.

  • ethan said:

    Hey my issue is that the first time I ever relaxed my hair it looked straight which means that the relaxer worked for me very well but then every time I did relax my hair it works only for a day or two :( whats going on !?!? And I do take care of it after each time I relax it , its growing but looks aweful !

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Maybe its the strength of the relaxer or the length of time it is left in. I tried self relaxing and because of my morbid fear of losing my hair to the chemical, I washed it out too soon. In two days my hair looked like it did before. I would suggest that you go to a reputable hairdresser and have him/her do an assessment for you and tell you what to do from there.

  • alicia g said:

    i been using biotin im on the 2 week and take 5,000mcg a day i already have new growth so i washed it with thermal mizani shampoo to see if it will kind of straigten the new growth out but it hasnt can i get another perm its only been 2 weeks and 4 days since i last had a perm

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      No Alicia. No perm so soon. You will start seeing breakage of your lovely new growth and would have defeated the purpose of taking the Biotin in the first place. Just wait for a while two months shouldn’t be that bad if you absolutely must relax it.

  • shae said:

    Well I wear quick weaves to keep from doing my hair and putting curlers in it. How long should I wait to relax my hair after taking the tracks out and washing it? And how long should I wait to put a color in after a relaxer is done.

  • Jazzika said:

    I got a black dye 2 weeks ago, is it safe for me to perm now?

  • Takia said:

    Hey, I recently went to water aerobics class and the back of my hair got a little wet. How long should I wait to perm it and apply a semi permanent color to it??

  • Shawnee said:

    Question: I have about 2 1/2 inches of new growth I haven’t had a perm in months and I’m planning on relaxing soon. I added rosemary and castor oil in my hair how long do I have to wait before relaxing? I had some loose cornrows in prior to adding oils as well.

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Shawnee,
      Make sure that your hairdresser can see the two textures clearly, loose cornrows usually mean curls. So maybe a wash and then wait three to five days and then get it relaxed.

  • Marsha said:

    Can I wash my hair the day before I put a relaxer on?

  • Derekia said:

    HI Brenda
    I want to transition from natural to realxed hair but i wont to make sure my hair is right and healthy before getting it relaxed can you tell me how can i know when my hair is ready??? And one more thing is it good to relax NATURAL HAIR

  • sherika said:

    How can i stop my hair from shedding from a perm that been left in to long? Is there 1 thing I can just use in my hair for it can grown healthy in long?

  • Denise said:

    Hi Brenda,after my hair being severely damaged for several years due to relaxing,colouring over processing etc I made the decision about 1 1\2 years ago to learn to how take proper care of my hair. I stopped using heat altogether,only relax every 3 months,I deep condition every week, I alternate between protein and mositurising,I use sulfate free shampoos,and moisturise and seal with coconut oil daily and massage my scalp for 15 mon every day!My problem is that I have been doing this for nearly 2 years now and I have to say I haven’t seen much improvement in the condition of my hair,if anything it has been severely tangled since I stopped using heat,and the only way to get rid of these tangles is scissors as just using the comb and conditioner does not get me anywhere!I would like to know where I’m going wrong because its been ongoing now for 2 yrs and I see no improvement.

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Oh Denise :( I ran through your post and it seems as if you are doing everything right.
      When you relax your hair, you relax new growth right? This means that your hair is growing. Which means the issue here is retaining your length. I would suggest that you get a conditioner with very good slip to take care of the tangles. When your hair is still under running water comb it out gently, start from your hair ends and gently work your way up to your scalp, if it makes it easier on you do it in sections. Use a wide tooth comb!
      Don’t go back to using heat please. It will not help your hair. I wish I could help more but you are going to have to experiment a bit with your products and the frequency of using them and see what is causing your tangles specifically. Don’t give up.

      • Regina said:

        What is conditioner with more ‘slip’? I have the problem retaining length in the front of my hair as well. Even when I avoid heat, it still seems to break. I’m not sure if my hair is just too dry or if I am not washing it enough. My hair seems to break more when I put more oil in it.

        Thanks!

        • Brenda Barrett said:

          Hi Regina,
          More ‘slip’ means the hair feels slippery to the touch, easy to comb out.

        • Toy303 said:

          I use aphogee balance moisturizer it’s really good for when you’re stretching the perm, and I also use the chi intense moisturizer with the orange pump lid. That might help as well as the hair one series so you don’t strip your hair during the wash. (Hair one is the cheap version of the wen series)

          Ps. I have relaxed hair too

  • Beverly said:

    I use olive oil along with my regular conditioner , is that okay or should I use the olive oil by itself? Also, I have perm hair. And one more thing is olive oil as a conditioner as good as castor oil or should I switch to castor oil?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Beverly
      If olive oil is working for you, stick with it. Yes you can add the oil to your conditioner if you want to.

  • Tashara said:

    I usually try to wait about 4-6 months between relaxing. I have a weak spot that breaks every time I relax and it actually goes balled. I have grew it back out after two series of micro braids. The hair is virgin regrown hair do you think it’s safe to relax it again? Or should I just do the surrounding hair?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Tashara,
      I have no way to tell if it safe to relax it again. I would suggest though that you assess why this part of your hair is a weak spot. Do you wear hats, headbands, clips, ponytails that rub it that way? Is the relaxer left too long on that particular spot? Are there constant relaxer overlaps? Find out what the root cause is and then fix it or you can relax just that section and watch it.

  • C said:

    Hi Brenda I am due to relax my hair this week but there doesn’t feel like there is much new growth only on the edges but it has been 7 weeks since I’ve relaxed. Shall I relax as it has been so long or wait till there is more new growth. My hairdresser says i should stick to a routine. Also my hair doesn’t seem to be growing as fast since I changed relaxer. Is this because the new relaxer takes better to my hair or has my hair growth slowed down?

  • mietjie said:

    Can I sheen straight my hair is breaking right on top what can use for breaking.what cause my hair from breaking so much

  • ovo said:

    Hi Brenda,
    I relaxed my hair around 7/8 months ago and have a lot of regrowth. I’m finally going to get another relaxer done next week, but before doing so would like to know if it’s okay to wash my hair this week as I don’t want to get scalp burns

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Ovo,
      At least four days before your next relaxer is good to wash the hair.

      • Schron said:

        Hi Brenda,
        I have not permed my hair for 8 months. I also have a thining crown area that I have been trying to grow out for the past 5 years and I have been wearing a sew in for 4 months. I want to take out the sew in this weekend and get a pixie cut and perm. Will I be doing more damage if I perm my hair right after I take out the sew in? Also, do I perm all of my hair or just new-growth?

  • Elizabeth Othusitse said:

    I have a problem with my hair is not growming at all , it about a year now but its about 5cm. what can i do?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Elizabeth,
      Is your hair relaxed? Can you see new growth every month? Do you have regular touch-ups at the hair dresser? If you can see new growth, then your hair is growing. You are just not retaining your length. There are several articles around here to help you get started. Check out this one- Begin Here For Longer, Thicker Hair

  • Folzee said:

    Hi i have my hair in weave i want to treat it 3-4 days before i put a relaxer in. My hair doesnt burn when i have done this in the past, i just want to kno whether it wud b better to leave the hair dirty instead of treat it and then relax. Which option is better of the two? I know that you recommend 2 weeks before we should treat it however i dont want to have my hair out for two weeks without relaxer. I’ll have it out for 4 days max. Is clean or dirty hair better for relaxer in those 4 days?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Folzee,
      It depends on the length of time you had in the weave and the type of condition your scalp is in. But to answer your question at face value, I say treat it first. Dirty hair takes a longer time to process thus leaving the relaxer for a longer time on your hair.

  • Jocelyn said:

    how long should I wait before relaxing my hair if I hot combed it?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Jocelyn,
      Wait until your hair reverts completely to natural so that the hair dresser can clearly see the hair texture.

  • Christy said:

    I had breakage from my stylist, and I took control by using Aphogee products, my friend/stylist cut the damaged hair off and we did Affirm relaxer for sensitive scalp. How long do I wait before DC my hair or just washing it period? I have been wrapping my hair with Aphogee Keratin and Green Tea Reconstructor and Pro-Vitamin Leave In. What other products can I use for night time and for DC? I have been reading so much info . I didn’t know you had to DC once or twice a week and you a Olive Oil treatment under a hooded dryer every two weeks, so new to me. Any suggestions on products, techniques to get started right and finish strong?

  • Brittany Howard said:

    Hi i got my hair dyed red and jack black not permanent by my hair stylist about 1 month and a couple of days but my new growth is definitely in need of some attention i have been tryin this natural thing since the end od December sooo i haven’t had a perm since but i keep spending money sbery two to three days cause my hair sweats out soo fast and thats so much heat and money i feel like im wasting i went to the hair stylist yesterday and there was no improvement :( can i just relax my new growth with a kiddie perm i need help. I dont wanna give up on my natural hair but my roots r really bad what should i do?

  • Kyesha said:

    Please help me. I’ve been trying to grow longer healthier relaxed hair for two years. Will it grow YES but it breaks off. I just stopped using coconut oil and olive oil, I now think the mayo/egg/beer protein treatment strips my hair and now only shampoo every other week. I brought shampoo and condition from the health food store. Please, wha can I do to have health hair? I blow dry/ flat iron once a month and air dry other days. I wash, moisture the oil and braid my hair. Parts of my hair is shoulder length and part is ear length (it shedddddddddds like crazy). I’m afraid to wash my hair. Please help me

  • Kyesha said:

    P.s. I don’t have a hair stylist cause I want to use as many natural products and be able to maintain my own hair. Even though I have relaxed hair, my hair is very coarse and thick. Lately, my hair tangles fast, will NOT had moisture at all. If I wash my hair, by morning it dry and brittle. I only use wide tooth combs. If I run my fingers in my hair, I’ll have several strands in my hand. I hate combing my hair cause it leaves the sink and the floor with enough hair to make a small child wig. Pleeeeeaaassseeee. Where I’m I going wrong

  • cierra said:

    hi. ive been relaxer free since october but ive been wearing weave (sew-ins). i make sure i take it out, wash and condition my natural hair before reinstallation. I even wash my hair with the weave in. So my question to u is, after almost 5-6 months of not having a relaxer, is it ok to get one after i remove my weave? I have a significant amount of new growth but i am planning on putting a weave back in a few weeks after the relaxer. HELP!

  • jayan said:

    Hello,

    I got my hair relaxed from Regis salon and they used sensitive scalp from mizzani. My hair looked good that day (not pin straight though which I liked to have.) I paid 70 dollars for the relaxing treatment. Couple of days later, my hair went back to original. So I called them and asked what happened but they said they do not know. However they asked me to come again so they can fix it. I came back and this time they used super extreme relaxer from mizzani. Now its been three days and my hair went back to original wavy look. Should I call them and complain them about. Is it their fault? Are relaxers good for any hair group?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Jayan,

      I have heard persons who say their hair is very strongly resistant to relaxers and it reverts. I have never seen it. If they left the relaxeer in your hair for the recommended time it’s not their fault. Maybe a strand test needs to be done on your hair to determine the length of time and strength of relaxer or even brand to use on your hair. Wait awhile before you go back to put the chemical in your hair though.

  • Brina said:

    Hi i mehendi my hair a week ago is it safe for me to relax it

  • mikka said:

    Can I perm my hair with conditioner in it from the night before?

  • Khadijah said:

    Hello. I took out my twist 5 days ago and washed my hair. Also, it’s been about 6 months since I’ve had my last relaxer. I wanted to know is it safe to get a relaxer now?

  • Maria said:

    Hi, i am a mixed child with Mexican and black but i look more black but my hair is long and curly. Everyone loves my hair and when people notice me they dont know what race i am because of my hair it separtes me which i like. However im 22 and i would like a new look i will like to cut it to a bob type and relax it. I hear alot of bad stories about damaging your hair so what would be the best way to do the process without really damaging to much just in case i would like to grow it back?? Thanks!

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Maria,
      There are bad stories because most people are not aware of how the whole relaxed hair process works and what it entails. The suggestions above are a guide, they should help before you relax your hair.

  • Fola said:

    Hi Brenda..i just removed braids, do i need to recondition my hair before relaxing. and what can i do to have a healthy looking hair.. how do i recondition?
    thanks.

  • Barbara Prempeh said:

    Hey Brenda,

    I started to experience hair breakage into my hair journey. I BELIEVED it was because i wasn’t moisturizing my new growth well enough. I then performed a Hard protein treatment with Aphogee 2 step and that didnt turn out so well. My hair started to feel very hard and etc. I then washed my hair the following week and my hair started to fall out and break more. i feel so horrible my hair is now shorter. It is indeed time for a relaxer.

    Should i prep my hair this week then relax or should I just relax it?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Barbara,
      The key after any protein treatment is moisture. You see the protein coats the hair gives it some added strength this can make the hair hard and not flexible. If the protein stays too long in the hair it can actually break the hair, you have to moisturize immediately after a protein treatment. Have to. Prep your hair first give it a moisture rich DC before you relax. Try not to relax the hair when it is breaking.

  • Pepper said:

    My hair is screaming for help. I been without a perm for almost 2 years now and i’m not sure if I want one or not but I think it will be best to get one because I can’t do nothing else with it. Long story short, I have sensitive scalp and I need to wash my hair when should I perm my hair if thats what I decide to do. Thanks in Advance

    • Sierra said:

      I’m in the same boat as you and I’m waiting on a reply

  • Deenay said:

    Hi Brenda. After 5 years of being natural I’ve decided to relax my hair again. I have blonde color at the ends of my hair where my color has grown out. My hair is about 15 inches long and the amount of color left is about 5 inches. Do you think it’s ok for me to relax my hair?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Deenay,
      Sure you can. You are going to have to condition your hair every week, paying close attention to the ends if you don’t want it to break off though.

  • Kim said:

    Hi Brenda,
    I have been wearing kinky twist in my hair since July of 2012. Now I want to get a relaxer. What should I do?

  • mariah said:

    i haven’t had a relaxer since september (8 months) because i had a sew in how long should i wait i was thinking about pressing it out first and later getting the rtelaxer what do you think

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Mariah,
      I am thinking that if you do all the steps above and you are ready, just do it. I don’t like the idea of pressing out relaxed hair. That will be extra heat (which means an extra process) to your already processed strands. This can cause breakage.

  • Erica said:

    Hi!
    I have relaxed hair and I also dye it black pretty often. I use semi-permanent dye for the most part but I have started to see a little breakage in the top (not much) just a little. I dont use grease or oil on my hair because I dont like it to feel heavy and stiff. I wanted to use a hot oil treatment but I would like to know what order these things should be done in as far perming, dying and applying the hot oil treatment?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Erica,

      Apply the hot oil treatment before you wash your hair. Maybe a week before you dye your hair or relax or a week after. I would not recommend that you do it at the same time when you either dye or relax.

  • Kristal said:

    Hello Brenda,
    I relaxed my hair with a new product about 3 weeks ago and due to the strenght of the relaxer I began to burn and had to wash it before all of my hair was able to process. I definitely wont be using that product again, but meanwhile I am left with almost half of my head not fully relaxed. Can I relax my hair prior to the 8 weeks if I use a gentle relaxer?

  • Miss Vickie said:

    I just worked out, but how long do I have to wait to put a perm in?

  • jaz said:

    Hi I colored my hair Nov 2011 with permanent dye my last relaxed relaxed was July 2012 and I want to relax my hair because I have a lot of new growth what to do

  • Keisha said:

    Hello,
    I let my deep conditioner(ORS Olive Oil) or regular conditioner (doo grow mega thick) mixed with extra virgin olive oil sit in my hair for about 3-6 hrs and sometimes overnight when I put it in in the afternoon/evening. Could I be doing any damage to my hair or scalp? Thank you.

  • Gleniece said:

    Hi,
    I am currently a natural. I want to go back to relax. My hair had been breaking off. I did conditioning with Hair Mayonaisse that I bought from Walmart. I did the conditioning Monday night and let it stay in till Tuesday morning. Afterwards I notice much less hair breakage. My hair dresser says I can do a mild relaxer and then the relaxer will show any damaged hair, which then she will cut off.
    I’m worried about going to do a relaxer on my broken hair, but is she right? What should I do? Please help.

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Gleneice,
      Don’t listen to your hairdresser on this one. Relaxed hair is actually putting your hair through a chemical process which breaks the bonds in your hair. If your hair is natural and breaking, rectify that before you put your hair through anymore stress. Relaxing the hair now, will be stress whether it is a mild relaxer or a strong one. You have done a good thing, you deep conditioned your hair with a protein and moisture combo (Hair Mayonnaise). keep doing that every week until you see the breakage stop. After that determine exactly what is causing your hair to break. Check out this article Shedding Hair Causes and check out the remedies too Breaking Hair Remedies

      • Gleniece said:

        Hi Brenda,
        Thank you so much for your advice! I did cut off the damage hair, and am doing weekly DCs with Hair Mayonaisse.
        I am waiting till my hair is at a desirable lenght to relax it ( Maybe a year).
        My next question is (so I stay on the right track), once I have required a desired lenght and have stronger hair what do you recommend as a good strenght?
        I don’t know my hair type, but do know around the left, right, and back side of my head my hair is fine like white hair. Everywhere else is thick and curly.
        I was planning on using curl formers or a big roller set to straighten my hair without heat and make it easier for the hairdresser to relax my virgin hair.
        My hairdresser use to use regular before I went natural. And I would like to go back to that.
        Is it possible to go regular and have my hair dresser apply the relaxer on my finer hair for last to protect it, or should I go mild? I like straighter and flowy hair like I had before.
        Thank you.

        • Gleniece said:

          Hi Brenda,
          Sorry, forgot to mention that my hair dresser said I could start out mild and switch to regular later. Please help.
          Thank you again.

  • Andrea said:

    Hello!,

    I washed my hair and the next day I want to put oil in it and a relaxer. Is this bad? I never burn, and I’ve done it before, I just feel like it’s not healthy. Yet I’m in a bind and really need to relaxer my hair. Btw my hair looks healthy

  • Rocio said:

    I’m desperate! I relaxed my hair yesterday and the result is awful ! It is super dry and I’m afraid I left relaxing product. After I finished the process I didn’t know what to do with my hair so I put marrocan oil but it feels terrible, I can’t even style my hair because it is like dry carton impossible to brush :( What can I do now?? Help please !!!

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Rocio,
      This response is four days late but here goes, if you are afraid you left relaxing product in you should rinse out your hair thoroughly with Vinegar. Any type of vinegar will do in this case. Use half part vinegar to half part water. Let it sit on the hair for two minutes and rinse again. Finally finishing with a thorough water rinse. Afterwards use a moisture rich conditioner. Something that gives the hair ‘good slip’. Let this stay on the hair for at least 15 minutes. This should help. Don’t brush your hair please :)

  • Rae said:

    ok i just took my hair down out of a quick weave and i had glue everywhere in my hair. I put conditioner in my hair to get the glue out. After combing all of the glue out, its time for me to relax my hair. Can i relax my hair with the conditioner still in or do i have to wash my hair then wait a couple days to relax it?

  • Nilleen said:

    Hi, I had a question,
    It’s been almost a year since I’ve last relaxed my hair. Can I go over my whole length of hair with a relaxer now?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      No Nilleen!!! Don’t do it. Only relax un-relaxed hair. Putting the relaxer on your already relaxed hair will cause breakage. Its guaranteed.

  • Tay said:

    After goin without a relaxer for about 5months now, I want a relaxer…my question is should I do a virgin relaxer being its been a while or is it ok to do a touch up?

  • Joana said:

    Hie Brenda leave had braid for the past six months every time l take them out and start combing my hair there is lots of hair breakages is this normal. lso latke them out and get my hair relaxed every 3 months. Is this safe or should l wait longer.

    Can u also give me an advice on what relaxer to use the my hair is currently a bit soft but has growth underneath. Shall a continue using the super hair relaxers .

  • Gleniece said:

    Hi Brenda,
    My natural hair is a mixture. I’m concerned for the finer hair. My hair dresser says she can start me on mild then go to a regular relaxer later. I’m unsure. I use to use a regular relaxer before I went natural. On the left and right side of hair it started to thin and break off when I had a regular relaxer. Not a lot. But over time. I don’t know if it was the relaxer or the ponytails. And when I went natural it filled in like silky fine hair on both sides. Can I put a mild relaxer on first and switch later to regular? Or can I start off on regular and put the relaxer on last on the finer sides of my hair? Thank you.

  • Ty said:

    Is it ok to wash your hair and perm it the same day?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Washing the hair will leave you susceptible to burns from the chemical.

      • Kim said:

        Hi brenda

        I washed my hair two days ago and before wash I had lots of dandruff and toke out a weave that was in a month and a half. When I washed my hair it started to burn because I irritated the scalp by trying to remove the dandruff before wash. I want to know if I can relax my hair on the third day.

  • Brianna said:

    it’s been two months since I got my last perm, the top of my hair has a lot new growth but the back has barely none . why is that ? I do the same to the top that I do to the back of my hair .

    • Kim said:

      Hi,

      I haven’t had a relaxer in 8 months and was wondering if I had to put it all throughout
      my hair since it’s been so long or just on the newgrowth

  • court said:

    I haven’t relaxed my hair in about a year due to a cut on my head that’s finally healed.. What type of products can I put in my hair till I relax it that won’t affect the relaxer at all? and is it okay to iron straight till I relax it?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Court,
      Is your hair completely natural at the moment or do you still have relaxed ends. If you do have relaxed ends, I don’t recommend straightening it with heat. Your relaxed hair will break. In essence, I think what you have right now is transitioning hair. Check out this article. 7 Tips to Take Care of Transitioning Hair

  • shekirah said:

    Hi Brenda,
    Well basically my hair is permed and i just took out my sew in weave yesterday which i had in from the 10th May. I want to do another weave hair style middle parting) but how long must i wait till i can be able to perm just the top centre piece of my hair?
    Thank you x

  • Reem said:

    Hi, I will relax my hair next week i did a clarifying shampoo protine treatment and a deep conditin with a moisture balance conditioner . What to do next throgh out the week should i moisturize it and seel or what exacatly help me please my hair sooo dry

  • Aquila Johnson said:

    Hello,

    I am planning on dying my hair with Loreal hicolor highlights and 30 VL Creme. I feel that My ends and roots will often have to be touched up on color before the roots are relaxed. Is it ok to relax color treated new growth if they aren’t bleached? And if so, how long after coloring them should I wait to get a relaxer?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Aquila,
      Yes you can relax color treated new growth but it is not recommended that you relax and color in the same day. The standard recommendation after coloring hair to relax is two weeks.

  • Dd said:

    I had braid in and I took them out on Tuesday and I’m planing on relaxing my hair on Sunday is that enough time for my hair to breath

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      No DD. Give your hair some more time at least another week. Deep condition it instead and then relax the following week.

  • Claudine Walker said:

    Hi Brenda,

    I am a 67 year old woman with all natural hair. My friends are all natural also….but they have cut their hair very short. I do not want to cut my hair….it is down past my shoulders about 3 inches.
    I have been pressing it….but it seems to not stay presses very long.
    If I take the mild Revelon relaxer and add a lot of water to it and apply it to my hair ……what would happen? If I make 1/4 teaspoon to 1 quart of water…..just to make it more manageable…..what would happen? I am not looking for really straight hair just manageable hair.

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Claudine,
      What you would be doing is to texlax the hair. Texlaxing is the underprocessing of hair. The relaxer would not break down all the protein bonds in your hair. The hair would still retain some tensile strength but it would still break some of the protein bonds. Which means you would be processing your hair. If you don’t want to process your hair at all. Don’t use the relaxer. However, before you texlax, if you want to dilute the relaxer, use oil or conditioner instead of water. Please read up all you can about it, there are some very good sites on the net.

  • eve said:

    Hi Brenda,

    I recently had a bad hair experience.
    I wanted to go blonde, so I went to the salon who stripped my hair. I wasn’t satisfied with the colour so the colour technician stripped my hair again and put an ash colour on top.
    Still not happy with the results I put a semi permanent black dye over it.

    My hair was extremely dye and coarse, I went for a deep treatment and washed it weekly using deep conditioning products.

    A month later the salon advise me I could perm my hair again (I perm my hair every month due to its short style and having naturally coarse and afro hair)

    Of course my hair broke off :(
    I was so devastated, like most women, my hair is so important to me.

    I haven’t permed it in 5 months but have been using a deep conditioner every week and shampoo which doesn’t contain Sulphate. I’m using a hot oil treatment mixed with hair cholesterol and leaving this for 2/3 hours before rinsing.
    I have also be using Priorin – vitamins supplements for hair loss. My hair grows extremely slow but I have to say after 5 months I have seen a great improvement. In one section the hair broke to the scalp but is now approximately 4cm long.

    The majority of hair broke from the back however the front is now damaged as I have to straighten it daily.

    The blonde still remains in the front but has grown out completely in the back.

    I have been advised to leave my hair 5 months before perming. Obviously I am nervous to go through this again, but due to the nature of my hair I really do need to straighten it.

    My question is – As there is still remaining blonde in the front I don’t think I should perm this section, however will I be able to perm the back.
    And what products do you suggest I should purchase to bring my hair back to the great condition it was previously in?

    Look forward to your response.

  • Sky said:

    I haven’t had a relaxer in 5 years but 2 year ago my hair broke off by using too much heat any ways my hair has grown back and ive been some what natural sense then but im thinking about gettin one now will that be okay ??

  • Keeta said:

    I started growing my hair out naturally (transition) and i have about 5 in of natural growth and 7inches of relaxed ends. I want to go back to my Relaxer… do I just make sure to follow these steps above and treat it like a regular touch up paying close attention not to re-relax the ends? I’m experienced and comfortable doing relaxers I have for 2 decades .. BUT Ive never grown my hair out before so I’m ignorant as to what the best method is? PLEASE HELP- I want my straight back!

  • katlin young said:

    hi i have had 5 perms on my hair in my whole life and it never ends up curly it is partially wavy. I really want to get a relaxer and ombre my hair but my mom thinks my hair is too damaged for it and i need help!!! its been 7 months since my last perm. i could really use your advice please.

  • Ima said:

    my hair is falling out because of relax er :( how soon can I put a weave in?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Ima,

      If your hair is falling out, you need to rehabilitate it first before you put a weave in. Check out the articles on the site for breaking hair.

  • Helen said:

    Hello, I would like to slightly lighten my hair to refresh the color i currently have and also relax my hair on the same day as I have a big event to attend and not enough time to wait in between treatments. Any safe suggestions? Thanks.

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Helen…you know you can’t color and relax on the same day, no self respecting hair dresser will do it for you either. Both processes puts the hair under a lot of pressure.

  • Janice said:

    I washed my hair yesterday can I oerm it today? If not how long must I wait?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Janice,

      You can relax it today but you may get burned and then your hair will be under-processed. Wait at least three days. The recommendation is a week to give your natural hair oil (sebum) a chance to at least help your hair to protect it from the chemicals being applied to it.

  • anne said:

    I mixed coconut oil, castor oil, almond oil, emu oil, aloe oil, olive oil, jojoba oil,tea tree oil, pepper mint oil and musta4d oil, 1 tsp of each. I use this mixture in my hair about twic3 a week, i have , mad growth 3 weeks after relaxing i usually have half inch of growth. However, ive been told that im over oiling,…really?i usually relax at 4 weeks. Am i doing wrong?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Wow Anne!

      I had to go back and read the list of oils. Do you think it is working for you? If it is, who cares what other people are saying? Unless of course, your hair is greasy and it feels limp and lax. Then, I would say you are over oiling.

      You relax every four weeks? That is way too frequent to be relaxing, even the manufacturers of the relaxers recommend that you use them every eight weeks. Remember, that relaxers are chemicals, applied close to your scalp.

  • Tiffany said:

    Hi

    I need helpppp
    I’ve decided to go natural going on 6months now after major damage 6months ago because I dies my hair then 2-3 weeks later permed it Biggg mistake…
    I’m transitioning but don’t like it and due to Busy schedule I cannot maintain the frizz :) my hair still shesding but not as much but im ready to relax do you suggest I wait or go forward with relaxing again??

  • Myteshia said:

    My hair broken off bad.. i still prem my hair.. trying figure out wat i need to do to grow it back and keep it healthy.. i been doing research on the olive oil and coconut oil.. i try to wash it one every two weeks.. please help do know wat to do..

  • Ree said:

    Hi, I read one of your posts that mentioned it’s good to stretch your relaxer to 8 weeks so I wanted your opinion. I usually get relaxers every 5-6 weeks, because my new growth is typically growing out of control. If I stretch longer what can I do to tame the rough curls that develop?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Ree,
      Curly hairstyles are good option to cover new growth and usually you can get by with just finger combing for up to five days.

  • Courtney said:

    Hi Brenda,

    I am severe dandruff and dry scalp, I cannot use hair dress or light greases because it causes me to have sores and my hair to stink. I use mineral iol but I find myslef having to use it 3 to 4 times a week and my hair gets weighed down. I am looking for a shampoo that will not strip my relaxer and cleanse everything from my scalp. I saw using peppermint shampoo for dandruff, but will my relaxer survive?

  • Casey said:

    I am about to get a texurizer done in my hair. I have never gotton a chemical in my hair but I do straighten my hair a lot. I’m not really sure if my hair is ready for it. For some strange reason my hair is shedding a bit and each of my strands go from thick thin. Its look funny. what is this called. I deep conditioned

  • anna said:

    Hi i was wondering how can i stop scratching but my head itches like crazy i can’t help but scratch it before my perm

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Anna,
      This is an age old problem. The scalp does not start to itch until you want to relax. It happens to most of us. Try not to dig the scalp or scrape it.

  • Abby said:

    I’m getting a relaxer put on tomorrow and I haven’t washed my hair in about 4 days now, but they didnt tell me anything to do or not to do. They just set up the appointment. I had to look up if I could wash my hair, etc and so I’m kind of nervous now about if they know what they’re doing. I didn’t know I couldn’t wear tight hairstyles. I wear my hair in a tight bun every single day and I’m trying to get my relaxer done before I leave for college (in three days!!) if you have any input on what I should do now or if its that big of a deal that would be much appreciated!!

  • Jasmine said:

    hey brenda I have not put a release in my hair since last year of November. I just died it Thursday and I can’t do the natural any more. how long should I wait before I put a relaxer in my hair??

  • Jess said:

    Hi! My hair is super tangled, and it’s the day before relaxing. I really need to comb it out or when I get there it’s going to hurt like mad. Everyone says I shouldn’t agitate my scalp or it’ll burn harder when applied. But if I don’t comb this hair it’s going to hurt even worse! What should I do, my scalp is extremely sensitive and on a bad day the relaxer burning sensation can drive me to tears. Please Help!!
    Jess
    xxx

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Jess,
      Comb your hair from ends to near the scalp area, be very gentle near the scalp and at sides and at your nape or else you know you are going to get burned.

  • Alexx said:

    I put a relaxer in Four days ago but it didn’t take and it was just around the edges cans I put another in today ?

  • Mona said:

    If I just got a prem least than a week ago, is it safe to get a weave put on top of it?

  • reah said:

    my hair has alot of split ends n i am facing hairfall problem will it be good if i do my relaxing tomorrow

  • Tismari said:

    If you relax your hair after 5 years of no relaxers and it doesn’t work at all are you still natural?

  • Renae said:

    My hair is badly damaged after my old stylist colored it by mistake instead of putting in a color rinse. I cut my hair to get rid of some of the breakage and I’ve treated my hair with deep conditioning. I know that I’m not suppose to go to the salon with damaged hair to get a relaxer.. But what do you do for hair that really really needs a relaxer but its still damaged.. My hair cannot be styled when its in dire need of a relaxer. The roots get too curly after a while a blow drying makes it worst.

  • Bree said:

    My hair is really damaged from relaxing my hair the wrong way for years . I now plan on following your step but I was wondering if I should do a hot oil treatment and deep conditioner before or after a relaxer ?

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Bree,

      You can do both things before and after. Wait a week after you DC or hot oil treat your hair to relax though.

  • Catia said:

    Hi Brenda,

    Hope you good just a quick question I was doing some research and your webpage came up (Glad!) very useful information anyway my question is I am going through an excessive shedding what could be the cause? I know it can be loads of things but I am very good with my hair in terms of deep conditioner, protein treatments, etc…name it im there lol but for some weird reason my hair is not responding to anything, any ideas? thank you in advance

  • lympi said:

    I put a permanent black dye (Lady Clairol) in my natural hair 2 weeks ago. … is it Ok for me to relax my hair after dying it black?

  • Sroda said:

    Hi Brenda!
    I relaxed my hair today and i washed out the relaxer to soon to avoid getting burnt badly and now my hair hasn’t broken down much. So i was wondering how long should i wait to relax my hair again?

  • janice said:

    Hi, every time I get a relaxer I see a good amount of new growth within about two weeks or less! What can I do to keep my hair looking nice without relaxing it too soon? And do you think it’s the relaxer that isn’t working so well?

  • janice said:

    But my hair is also growing really good (too add to my last comment)

  • Stacey said:

    Can i put a relaxer in my Hair If i left regular conditioner in my Hair for more then a week i always leave conditioner in just don’t wanna wait a couple more days to per it if i rinse it. out today!

  • Iesha Hampton said:

    It has been like 3 months since I had a perm. I was thinking about going natural but I wanted to maintain the lenght of my permed hair. I have been having breakage because the permed hair is not supposed to survive knowing that its two different textures. So I wanted to know whether if I permed it would change anything or should I continue going natural since I’m in the transitioning stage?

  • Angie Ash said:

    Hi Brenda,

    I have a question please. My hair stylist wants to put a protein treatment in my hair($200.) rather than a relaxer – retouch.Currently I’m getting my hair washed and roller set every week. I get a relaxer re-touch every 8 weeks. And as long as I get the roller sets my hair is okay and healthy. But I want to get it flat ironed every week rather than the roller sets beause I think it looks better. She said my hair is to soft and my ends will begain to brake and I will have to get my ends clipped more ofter if I get it flat ironed every week. Do you aree? And do you agree that a proten treatment and no more relaxers will be better so that I can get it flat ironed every week? I like the flat iron look better than the roller set :-)

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Angie,
      Your hairdresser is right about the clipping of your hair if you flat iron every week. The heat will wreak havoc on your hair ends. Flat ironing so often will thin it out. The solution to your problem because you hate the roller set look could be to wrap your hair after a roller set, oil it for sheen, go under the dryer for three to five minutes after that, it should be shiny and flat. You will get the flat iron look without the flat iron. As for the protein treatment and no more relaxers- are you talking about keratin?

  • marylove bonsu said:

    i have a sensitive scalp and am using optimal but my hairdresser has recomended dark and lovely for me will it help me

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Marylove,
      I have never used either product, so I really don’t know. Was she planning to use Dark and Lovely for Sensitive scalp?

  • karen said:

    hi there I just dye my hair one week ago can I relax my hair now,or should I wait.

  • Claw laker said:

    hey earlier today I washed my hair (at around 11) but now it is just nappy and Curley at the roots so I bought a olive oil relaxer today…is it ok to relax it?#confused#scared

  • Imani said:

    I have only had my braids in for 13 joirs can I take them out and get a perm in the next 5 hours

  • Julie said:

    I just got my hair relaxed today. Can I get it wet without washing it?

    • twiggy said:

      For future references,if you are talking about getting it wet in pool water or beach water then it’s a no wear a water cap,if your referring to water from the sink that’s fine just air dry and flat iron it on low then apply a good healthy hair moisturiser

  • Brittany Wise said:

    Hello… Iv been natural for 2 years and my hair is VERY thick i plan on relaxing my hair with Olive Oil super relaxer. I want to know is it safe to do so

  • Taylor said:

    Hi Brenda,
    I usually get my hair relaxed.lately I’ve been off relaxers and I have colored my hair. I haven’t had one in half a year and now I have three different hair textures in my hair and its colored so I can see how much my hair has grown. My question is I want to get the hair color remover but relax my hair. How long should I wait to relax my hair after the hair color remover and if I do relax my hair would it damage the texture ?

  • latonya said:

    Hello I permed. My hair3 months ago. And its been doing good. I have very bad dandruff everywhere. Not noticeable. But its in my scalp. And I used a foam wrap my hair now is nappy hard to comb and thick. I was thinking. A relaxer would work. Washing it and using. Flat irons wouldn’t work on it. Am I wrong what should I do

  • Tae said:

    I got a perm around October 15 I was wondering if I got one this week would my hair break off

  • Tonya said:

    Hi, I left a perm on too long an my hair broke off as I was washing, it continues to shed! I used Aphogee deep cond. treatment, shedding has eased up but my growth is slow. I went an had a professional perm the next time it’s been 8 weeks but I barely have any new growth. Will it break further if I just stop perms all together until it’s healthy again!

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Tonya,
      Sorry to hear about that. No it won’t break if you leave it for a while for new growth to show. Just give it some TLC, alternate between deep conditioning and hot oil every week until it starts to feel stronger, then do it every other week.

  • Kay said:

    Hey, I play sports and I would sweat a little in practice, if I dried my hair after practice could I still perm it?

  • Nerica said:

    Hi Brenda,
    I colored my hair almost a year ago and since then I have always used a mild perm. I have a little bit of color left at the end of my hair. Is it ok for me to start back using a super perm???

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Yes, but you will get some shedding when you go back to super strength. You will have to deep condition your hair a lot. Like every single week for a whole month and avoid heat as much as you can.

  • qmarie said:

    I took out extensions about a week ago but my hair tangled extremely bad so there was pulling involved, and I flat ironed it a day ago when is it ok to relax my hair and is a strain test needed after not using one for 7 months

  • Tharu said:

    Hi, thank you for the tips you gave but i have one small question. I want to relax my hair for the first and i’m having second thoughts about it because i heard from a friend that the relaxing will go away once i wash my hair because i have had a ‘henna treatment’ 3 months ago. She said i have to wait for at least 6 months to get the henna out of my hair as it covers my hair strands making it impossible for relaxing chemicals to do its work. When i got advice from a stylist she said it doesn’t matter. I can relax my hair this month without any problems. I need your advice because i don’t want to waste money only to have my old, fizzy hair back just after i wash my hair. HELP!

  • C D said:

    My hair is dry, I have a relaxed and permanent color. My question is can I relax my hair and then do a hot oil treatment after I relax it?

  • C D said:

    I have a relaxer and permanent color and my hair is dry, can I give myself a oil treatment after I relax it?

  • taylor said:

    i dyed my hair last month is it safe to dye it now

  • Emily said:

    I live in Ireland so there aren’t many options for black hair salons but I’ve found one and been going for the last 7 years. I’ve been relaxing for the last 14. I always always get scalp burns afterwards. My hair is coarse and awful. Please help me.

  • chocolate child said:

    I’ve been wearing a yarn twist since 2007. Iwant to perm my hair and wear it out. What perms/ hair products are good for transitioning back to permed hair?

  • Lasey said:

    I ordered the Wen haircare shampoo and I wanted to know if That is a good shampoo to use.

  • Jasmine said:

    Hello….my hair is relaxed…I deep condition my hair,my hair twice a week, moisturize and. condition my hair daily…the problem is my hair is stringy and hard…I want that soft look ..help what am I doing wrong??!!

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Jasmine,
      It sounds like you are over conditioning your hair. Twice per week is way too much to deep condition. When you say moisture and condition your hair daily, what do you mean?

      Remember, less is more–simple is better. So even though you may be doing good stuff for your hair, you may be doing too much.

  • mm said:

    hi there, i ve a real problem, i dont have hair in the middle of my head (it grows back but wont stay there for long) its all breakage and damage…i use relaxer on my hair like every 2 month or a month…its itchy in da middle of my head before and after i use a relaxer, i try to change my relaxers, different products and oil but nothing changed.and ve to wash my hair everyday or its so itchy and drive me crazy and i scratch it so hard..its more itchy and hair fall, now its spreading to the front and i might b with short little grown hair at front and middle and all over my head, i need help to stop the itchiness and hair fall help please!

  • talise said:

    How long do I have to wait to relax my hair if I had a haircut using clippers(I have a Mohawk)

  • JANEA said:

    Hello,
    I was natural for a year and I permed my hair on December 14 using a box perm. The perm seemed to only straighten my edges but, my crown to the back of my head seems just as puffy and course as it did before I permed it. Is it to early to perm it again, and how long should one wait in between perming? I’m a young college student so i can only afford to do box perms at the moment.

  • Lexes said:

    Hello, After 3 years of being natural I want to go back to relaxed hair but I’m having second thoughts. My hair hasn’t grown that long, in fact it seems to have grown only an inch over the past 3 years (I don’t know why because I wash and condition it every 8 days and I deep condition it often. I also do hot oil [jojoba] treatments to my hair.) and it’s extremely dry! Like I could dump a whole bottle of oil on my head one night and by morning I can guarantee it looks as if I never even put anything on it but when I had relaxed hair my hair seemed to have grown a bit everytime I went to get a touch up. I guess my question is, after 3 years of not having a perm / relaxer and having extremely dry hair, what do I need to do to make sure my hair doesn’t fall out?

    P.S I can only use Just For Me kiddy perms because anything else will burn my head so badly :/

  • Sara said:

    Burning hairs during coloring for 10minutes after that it stop and after washing it stop burning now it’s safe for health

  • joy morgan said:

    I had a relaxer done on dec23 13. today Jan 3rd it looks like I never had any thing done to my hair.[what could of cause this to happen],

  • risa said:

    Hi Brenda,
    I just removed flat twists and gel from my hair with shampoo but I just rinsed off the shampoo after I lathered and I did not massage the shampoo into my scalp. I was wondering if I should relax my hair tomorrow afternoon.

  • Aleesia Handy said:

    Hello. I get my hair straighted combed. Will a perm take my hair out.

  • Sammii said:

    After my hair has been previously relaxed how long is the recommended time before relaxing again?

  • Andrea said:

    Hi. I bleached my hair two weeks it will be this Saturday. If I wanted to relax my hair, would I be better off using a kiddie relaxer such as just for me so the chemical won’t be to harsh?

  • romy said:

    Hi, i want to put a relaxer or texturizer in my 3 to 7 inch completely natural hair and i want to know the best thing to do a week before, the day before and the day of the process. I plan a mayo-egg-honey treatment and put oils or petroleum for base BUT when should i do it and what are the best product for my sensitive scalp?
    Also, i don’t want bone straight hair and not too curly hair. So relaxer or texturizer?
    Thanks for your advices :-)

  • janear said:

    Thanks.. i think this will really help my hair out a lot

  • Ani B. said:

    Hi Brenda! My hair is very, very nappy and short. Like, an inch off of my head. I usually get a buzz cut and my hairdresser always complains that she can’t comb thru it enough to cut it! I can’t can’t comb thru it unless it’s very wet, but of course I can’t do that the day I get a perm. She has to be able to comb it to perm it!! Grrr! What do i do?

  • Gift Cletus said:

    My hair is seriously breaking specially my hairline at the front but i really appreciate u guys for your advise on how to take care of my hair. thank u so much.

  • Jamaican girly said:

    Hey. I would some recommendations on some protein treatments. I cannot seem to find any. I live in Jamaica but I have access to the states. Thanks a lot.

  • mariah said:

    hello , i just took down my box braids nd didnt wash my hair bedoee i got the braids . Can I wash my hair then perm it ??

  • Kiki said:

    I got to the gym most days…I wanted to relax my hair after I got out of the gym is that a good idea?? I’m washing my hair this weekend and relaxing it next Thursday but I got to the gym Monday,Wednesday and Thursday

  • Bella C. said:

    Hi, two questions for you. I just started getting perms this year, so I’m not too familiar. I am Cuban black and Irish so my hair is thick but essentially not too curly as much as frizzy and dry. When I relax it, I like the effect it has because it makes a nice wave pattern. Is it safe to wet my hair after I perm it, and wear a wash and wear? Or how can I retain the “waves” when it isn’t wet?

    Also, I haven’t gotten a perm since I got pregnant (I am due in a few days) how soon after is it safe to relax my hair, and for how long, I have a ton of beautiful new growth.

  • Victoria said:

    What if I waited a week until I washed my hair and then get a perm? would
    that still affect me?

  • Kiara said:

    Hi Brenda!
    My hair has been very corse and dry for over a year now. I can moisturize it and in two days its breaking off, shedding at the touch and crispy! I cut out the relaxers because I thought that was the problem and now almost 6 months later, my hair is in the same condition. I’ve decided to relax it again using pink lotion brand just to have it straight and manageable but I am concerned this may not be a good time for my hair. I have seen minimal hair growth since all of this has occurred. PLEASE HELP!

  • Kiki said:

    I dyed my hair in Febuary can i put a relaxer in my hair in march ?

  • shruti said:

    i have done perm straightning one year back.

    but i havnt used any special shampoo and neither i hav done spa … beacuse of this my hairs had fallen most…
    before two months ago i started using matrix opticare smoothning shampoo … and it has show grt effect noe my hair is not falling … and i do oiling also
    but i am planning to go for smoothning … because my hair texture has becum vry bad …
    should i go ?
    if i go for this should i be in regular spa n powerdose treatmeny so that my hair doesnot fall …
    should i go ??? wat should i do ???

  • Mina said:

    Hello. I haven’t relaxed my hair in 8 months. Will it still be ok to touch up may hair after that length of time? Now I do have 2 minor bald spots due to extreme dryness to at the top of my head (dry patches) but my hair dresser hasn’t said it was a problem when I went to her but this time I’m doing it myself and I just wanted to know if it would be ok and it would be just my roots right? since I’m not a “virgin” when it comes to this process.

  • Princess said:

    My hair keeps breaking.. Right now, half my hair practically looks like i’m on a low cut while the middle is still struggling.. I dont know what to do.. I recently trimmed it

  • Lisa said:

    please can I relax my hair and do deep condition treatment on thesame day?

  • Veronica Sloan said:

    I got some highlights 2 weeks ago. When can i relax my hair?

  • Natasha said:

    I just yesterday took down my micros and I washed my hair because it is so thick and course and so how long do I need to wait before I perm my hair?

  • Hanciara said:

    Hi
    Is it safe to use hair cholesterol before or after relaxing my hair.

  • nana said:

    hey, 4 weeks ago I cut my natural African hair to a pixie cut or Rihanna cut as we call it here in Africa, now I have been using hot iron to get the style going and stated to see grey scal and itchy scal..I used some Motion moose and also some blue magic and most of the time I moistures with dark and lovely pink moistures.

    I noitces my hair is flaking and thin….what do I do first relax or treat and what kinda of treatmeat would you recommend and relaxer to use….

    I love my hair and tired of my afro and wearing weaves.

  • meeko said:

    How long do I have to wait to perm my hair if I washed out the glue that I had in it

  • Stacy Smith said:

    I am being treated for MRSA on the back of my head. After my wound heals and the infection is gone I’m thinking of going natural with my hair, my hair is already short. I used to relax my hair about a month before I got the infection, what would you advise.

  • Jade said:

    Hey Brenda, the last relaxer I had was in wast about last yr September, I will be relaxing sometime in the summer. Do u have any tips for preparing to deal with my return to relaxed hair. I have taken down my weave, now I have I a wig as I just trying to give my edges a break. Any treatments I should consider?

  • Esther said:

    I used to go from loving my hair to now completely hating it. All because people keep asking me, “oh, did you cut your hair again?” I tell them yes, when, embarrassingly enough, I don’t. Is there a way to make my hair grow fast, and I mean really fast so I can long my hair again?

  • Chynah Harris said:

    I washed my hair Saturday & I’m natural but I want a perm Monday , can this happen ?

  • Philomena said:

    Hi Brenda I wanted to know how long does it take for your hair to be considered virgin my last relaxer was june of 2013 and I want to relax my hair again

    Thank you
    Philomena

  • Sashana said:

    Hi. I didn’t relax from February and I went to the. Hairdresser to relax . I had gel in the front of my hair. After he process my hair the front wasn’t relaxed.

  • Courtney said:

    Hey Brenda,

    I’ve been natural for about 2 yrs and its been a trying time. I noticed that since I’ve been natural, my hair has broken off a tremendous amount! In 2008, I had cut about 8 inches off to try something different. It seemed like after cutting it, my length was pretty steady sitting just below my shoulders up until I started experiencing something in 2012 called “scab hair.” Thats when regardless if you straighten it, it still looks like you’ve been struck by lightning! *Fast forward* Nowadays, when my hair is straight, it’s uneven, thin in a few places and barely at my shoulders. Today I was browsing through old pics of my permed hair, and now I want one again because my hair was much longer and I looked much happier! But I feel like having perms is what contributed to my “scab hair” experience. Any suggestions?

  • Smack said:

    I flat ironed and straighten combed my natural hair, i’m going through a transition. I have a sew in right now and I want to perm the top of my hair that I left out. Would it be ok to perm four days after all of the heat? I have about 4 inches of natural growth and it never stays straight, what do I do ?!?

  • lufuno said:

    I would like to know if I should perm my hair right after washing without drying it.

  • Amberlyn Levine said:

    I just took down my braids and my hair has collected TONS of dirt in the scalp and hair I usually comb out the dirt (though it hurts and pulls hairs out) or shake and scratch it off
    o wwhat should I do with dirty hair with tangles ….should I perm it after I condition it

  • Sylvia said:

    Hi. I just coloued my hair two days ago. When can I do a protein treatment? ?

  • Toy said:

    Is it okay to wash my hair on a tuesday then get a perm on a saturday?

  • Sal said:

    How long do I have to wait after removing braids to retouch..
    Why is a dirty scalp bad for relaxer

  • kimagirl said:

    my sister went to the hair salon and before relaxing her hair the beautician put a cooling gel on her hair which made her hair soft shiny healthy looking and moisturized. do you know of any creams or gels that I can buy to put on my hair before the relaxing process?

  • Kimberly said:

    Hi Brenda

    I would like to relax my natural hair but my hair is very long and a bit difficult to manage when it’s not blow dried . Today I washed and blow dried my hair how long should I wait before getting a relaxer?

  • Kimberlea said:

    Hi, Ive been natural for 2 1/2 yrs and I would like to get a perm. I was wondering how long I should to get a relaxer if I just washed my hair yesterday?…..

  • Yasmine said:

    Hi Brenda I have a quick weave in…how do I remove it and how long should I wait before I perm it….thanks

  • Dani said:

    I stumbled across the website and have been glued to it all day. I am eager to try out the eye opening advice, especially since I suffer from dry scalp / eczema and I have a rough time resisting to scratch before getting my hair relaxed which is usually every 6 weeks. I have no idea how to manage new growth especially since I usually wear my hair back so it ends up looking fuzzy. Unfortunately I tend to get a bit burned because of the scratching and because I’m convinced that hairdressers in my country don’t believe that your hair is relaxed unless you at least feel your scalp tingling.

  • Sharon said:

    Hi Brenda. My hair was badly damaged as a result of my last relaxer. Prior to I never had breakage and very littly shedding. I would stretch for 9-12 months and still never experienced much breakage. At first the breakage was fierce. Then I started doing hot oil treatments, and Deep conditioning every week, but the breakage was still quite large. I added an egg treatment to the my weekly wash regimen by using 2 eggs mixed with some conditioner and a few drops of oil. The breakage seems to have subsided somewhat. I think I see about a 50% improvement. How can I get that percentate up to 100%. I’m 4 month post and I’d really like to relax again. I’ve abstained from heat since this.

  • Agatha said:

    after i removed my braid 2weeks ago,i applied organic relaxer at the root for easy combing but instead my hair got tied and now am fixing a weavon which i applied gel at the corner of my hair…and am still having undergrowth…please i want you to tell me something

  • Neo said:

    Hi,
    Last time I relaxed my hair i did it like really quick because i Was going out, anyway so now I have straight bits and curly bits i want to know if i can relax all of the curly bits and not just the roots? P. S. Did i mention that I only relaxed like once in my whole life.

  • Melondy said:

    So I have recently dyed my hair blonde and it seems to be healthy still. I havnt dyed my hair in about a month or so. is it safe to relax my hair and then color it again? How long should i wait in between so i dont damage my hair?

  • amarigcarter said:

    How long should I wait for a relaxer after I get my braids taken out?

  • Sheila said:

    I’ve been natural for 8 years now and I’m in the military and it’s really hard to keep my hair healthy like I need it to be. My hair has not grown in 4 years. It breaks off just as fast as it grows, sometimes even faster. It’s probably because I’ve had to pull my hair back as straight as it would go and slap some gel on it and go. I don’t like having to pile gel after gel after gel on my hair so I would have to wash my hair everyday or every other day. And it’s even worse when I have to go to the field for 2 weeks not being able to wash my hair. And not to mention that I’m always sweating because I exercise everyday and my job in the military takes place outside for the majority of the time. I want to get a relaxer, but I’m afraid that my hair will fall out. I haven’t had a relaxer since I was 14 and here I am now at 23. My hair is very thin and fine and frizzy. When I comb it, there’s so much hair in my comb that it scares me. I can put my fingers through it and pull (with no force at all) out hair that comes from the root and has the little bulb on the ends of it. And my edges are sooo short now from all the gel. But I want to have straight hair again. I’m tired of my hair breaking when I try to detangle it. And I have so little time for pampering myself, because I’m a single mother. Do you have any suggestions?

  • LaTisha said:

    Hey! I been natural for a year, but you cant tell by my fro that I have! I think my hair is damaged, but I want a perm. Do you think its a good idea to get a perm or should I just continue to be natural? and if so whats some natural hair products that you would recommend?

    xo

  • Sandia said:

    can I put in a color 2 weeks after a touchup?

  • tamikia said:

    My scalp has been super itchy and I’ve been trying not to scratch it. I’ve gotten really bad dandruff lately. I couldn’t help but to scratch it. I’m pretty sure I damaged my scalp. It burns now. I put a lot of oil sheen in it, how long should I wait to relax it. I haven’t had a relaxer in months. Also an I wash it at least tomorrow morning?

  • Juanita Porter said:

    I want to use a hot comb to my hair, but later I want to use a relaxer in my hair. How long do I have to wait until I can put the relaxer in my hair?

  • fafa said:

    hi brenda do i need to mix my relaxer with olive oil before using it?and will this prevent relaxing burns?

  • hicyee said:

    hi i have hair color can i relax my hair ?

  • Jared E said:

    If I texturized my hair 3 weeks ago and it didn’t turn out to well. Could I retexturize it right now?

  • Niki said:

    Hey I have an important question so I hope you answer this immediately. Sorry if this is long. So my hair is natural, the last time I got a perm was in 10th grade in the spring, I think that was in 2012. (I am now in 12th grade.) But I want to perm my hair again because going natural is not for me lol. I’m currently taking out my box braids which I had in a few days before september 16th so almost a month. SO it’s Friday night and I was thinking of getting a perm on Monday morning, is that safe for my hair? By the way, my hair doesn’t break easily so hopefully my hair doesn’t fall out or anything. Advice please

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      HI Niki,

      No it is not okay to relax your hair on Monday morning after having braids in. Your scalp needs to be in the best condition before you apply chemicals to it. My advice is to deep condition your hair first, give it a week and then relax it.

  • Mia Loviette said:

    i relax my hair and a day later my head started to get slippery, wet and sticky even tho i washed it and dry my hair it happen again. My skin on my skul turn white, it hurts abit WHAT SHOULD I DO???

  • Marsha said:

    Hi Brenda. What dosage of Biotin is recommended for results in hair growth? & do u recommend Nouritress products as a good alternative?

  • Marshaq said:

    About 2 months ago, I had a fresh relaxer…..and faily recent color. I went to the Caribbean & it seems that the salt water cause stress on my hair and ultimately breakage. I now have in kinky twists, for about 6 weeks….hoping to rest my hair….but I’m scared about taking out. Any recommendations?

  • Kendra said:

    I always get yarn braids and keep them in for 3 months . And when I take them out I wait til the next day to get a perm & I have no breakage and I always do this ….

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Kendra,
      There are always exceptions to the rule. Someone else may do the same thing and lose all their hair. My advice to everyone is to err on the side of caution. Make sure your hair is in the best possible shape before you apply relaxer to it.

  • Shanea said:

    Hi. I want to put a perm in my hair. It’s been about 4 years since I had a perm. I have lost a lil hair and I’m dealing with spotting and I’m scared to put a perm on it but I think it will be a little easier to manage. I want to get a pixie cut. Do u think I should get a light perm in my hair, like a kids perm?? Please help

    • Brenda Barrett said:

      Hi Shanea,
      If your hair is breaking now, do not get a relaxer. Kid’s relaxer is still relaxer, some of them are just as strong as regular relaxers.Take care of the breaking hair issue first before you relax.

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