Should You Relax Your Hair or Not?
I get this question a lot mostly from persons who have a very beautiful head of natural hair. I generally ask a question to follow up, why do you want to relax your hair?
The thing is, if you are considering getting a chemical process done to your hair you should have some reason for doing so and you should be prepared for the process in order to keep your hair healthy and strong.
Many persons have different reasons for getting their hair relaxed, here are a few I’ve heard:
- The hair is easier to manage.
- I want to let out my hair sometimes.
- I am tired of combing my natural hair.
- All my friends have one.
- I can’t wait to just catch up my hair in a sleek ponytail and go about my business.
- It looks better than my natural hair.
- I want to look more grown up.
- My hair is too hard to manage.
- I want my hair to look like ‘a favorite movie star or artiste.’
- My hair is too thick.
I listen to all the reasons and I see shades of my own reasoning in some of the responses when I wanted to relax my hair a couple years ago. The good thing about my particular situation is at the time my mother did not allow me to get my hair relaxed until I could take care of it properly.
That’s right, you have to be able to care for your hair before getting your hair relaxed, because lack of care will eventually result in ugly damaged hair and pretty soon you will wish that your hair was natural. Enough of my own opinion, here are some pros and cons for relaxing your hair, the reasons were given by friends of mine who were either zealously natural or relaxed.
Pros:
- A relaxed head of hair takes less time to comb and to groom.
- You can wear your hair in more versatile styles.
- It takes less effort getting your hair curly when relaxed than to get your hair straight when natural.
- Relaxed/processed hair allows you to see your hairs length easier than natural kinky hair.
- Relaxed hair is easier to comb through and thus appears easier to manage.
Cons:
- Relaxers contain chemicals that can damage your hair and scalp if not applied properly. Relaxed hair is weaker than natural hair, no matter how strong it may appear, so if you can’t handle your real, stronger hair you may suffer from the same hair problems with relaxed hair or worst.
- Relaxing your hair leads to dryness. Extra care has to be taken to keep the hair moisturized or it will break. Additionally, a combination of protein treatments along with moisture has to be observed so that the relaxed hair can be stronger.
- To have healthy, relaxed hair takes more effort than it seems to have your hair looking healthy.
- Relaxing your hair means a whole new way of treating your hair, it cannot be business as usual.
- Relaxing your hair can be expensive to maintain.
I am sure that there are many more pros and cons but these ten points should get you moving toward making up your mind. Whatever you do, just remember that relaxing your hair is a permanent option, make sure that you are prepared with knowledge before taking this step.
About Brenda Barrett
Hi what can i use to stop d falln of my hair
Hi Hajara,
Check out these articles: 10 Home Remedies For Hair Loss and Treatment For Hair Loss
hello,
im 17 years old and i am mixed race, half white half african so i have very tight curly hair. i have had natural hair all my life and i am started to get bored of it, so for the last few months have been deciding whether to get it relaxed or not. im still unsure as all my black cousins tell me i shouldnt do it! what would you suggest i do? how well would the relaxer take to my hair type? and is it difficult to grow out?
thank you x
Hi Rose, I am on the side of your black cousins-don’t do it, just kidding. I think you should do loads of research before you relax your hair. The truth is, it will permanently change your hair. You will have to wait a while (hair grows an average of 6 inches per year) for it to grow out and get back your curls. So if you just want a temporary solution to straighten your curls maybe you should look for other solutions to straighten your hair (check out this article http://blackhair101.com/hair-care/alternative-to-relaxers-for-straighter-hair-or-defined-curls). I would not suggest relaxing your hair out of boredom, it will take some commitment on your part to maintain it or you will find that your hair will break. I hope I helped a little in making your decision, all the best.
Hey. I want to grow long hair now. But I heard from a lot of people that relaxed hair damages your hair and I have relaxed hair because my mom won’t let me go natural. So how can I grow my hair fast with it being relaxed.
Hi Rainy,
You can have damaged hair whether it is relaxed or not, if you do not take care of it. Hair grows at a pace of quarter to half inch per month, unless there is some underlying problem. That gives you 4 to 6 inches of new growth per year. What you can do to retain your new growth is to take care of your hair in general. Relaxed hair is especially fragile because the protein bonds in the hair are broken down. Please browse around this site and see the articles, you can start with this one What is the Secret to Having Long Thick Relaxed Hair? Part One
When you read it, you’ll find that there is no secret at all just practical ways to retain your hair length.
Hi Brenda,
I have locks, what are your suggestion for have it not looking dull..I wash every week and use coconut oil after shampooing…need your advise on how to take care of natural locks.
Hi Aleth,
I am really not experienced with lock care. I will be doing some in depth research on lock care and will post some articles soon.
Thanks Brenda, I will keep checking to see your post on lock care.
Bye
thx.
hi am susan i hav thick brown curly hair and its had to manage i want to relax it when school reopens, to have different fashion styles i wonder some times i might regret or not should i do it
Hi Susan,
After reading the article what did you think? I would give it some more thought if you are just going to relax for the fashion. Mull it over some more before you take the plunge.
Hello Brenda, I am Puerto Rican and African American.I have been wanting to relax my hair for a while…. I am ready to take the plunge and make the commitment, I have curly hair I take care of it and it is very soft not course at all but can be extremely frizzy… Would you recommend for my hair type? I have been looking at Dr. Miracles no lye regular strength relaxer…. Thank you
Hi Desiree,
I am torn, I want to be objective but I just love Affirm. I tried other no-lye relaxers the other day, I reasoned that once I stick to no-lye I would be fine but the truth is there is just something about Affirm, maybe its the fact that conditioners are used every step of the way. Conditioners in the relaxer, conditioners in the middle of the process and conditioners at the end. It makes the hair feel really special. I would totally recommend it, I know several persons with hair type like yours who use it and love it too. On the other hand, if you have researched Dr. Miracles and you have heard great reviews on it, I would not discourage you to go ahead.
Hi, I’m 13 and mixed race. I’m trying to decide whether to relax my hair. I straighten my hair a lot but obviously when it rains or it’s windy my hair goes back to its normal frizzy self. I hardly ever have my hair curly because it just frizzy. Should I get my hair relaxed? Thankyou
Hi Lauren,
I think you should learn how to care for your natural hair first before you even think of relaxing. I went searching on the net for resources about caring for biracial frizzy hair and I found this http://www.treasuredlocks.com/biracial-hair-care-guide.html Read it through and get your frizz under control, remember relaxing the hair is a major step and if you don’t care for it properly you’ll lose your gorgeous mane. Sift through the information and give your natural hair a chance. Let me know if you are still unsure.
Hi, I’m 17 years old and have a naturally (and VIRGIN) straight hair. But I always get fly-away ends
I don’t have the time to blow dry or flat iron my hair anymore to get rid of the fly aways because I go to school very early. Now I’m considering my hair to be relaxed. Should I go for it?
Hi May,
I would suggest that you find some way to tame those fly away ends. Relaxing the hair is not an easy way out, it will actually require more care if you want it to stay healthy.
Hey I really want to relax my hair because my hair is so hard to cope with I have wanted to do this for quiet a few months now but my mum says I shouldn’t buy I really want to; what would you do in my situation
(I am mixed race half white half black with frizzy Afro which I cant wear down or straighten or style really).
Hi Savannah,
There are loads of natural styles you can try out. Pls. do some more research online before you relax your hair. Relaxed hair is far harder to manage than natural hair because essentially the protein bonds (which gives the hair strength are broken during the chemical process) This means that your hair has to be maintained properly for it to grow and not break or shed. Only relax when you can dedicate the time and energy to maintain your hair.
Hi
I used to relax my hair. I have worn my hair either in a weave or a press and curl for about six years now.
Unfortunately I get tired of the weave and when I work out the press is back natural.
I have really been thinking about a perm lately but I do know the damage it can cause.
What would be a great regimen to take care of a perm.
Hi Renee,
Here is one: Hair Regimen For Relaxed Hair
Well, im seventeen and I really think I want to go natural. When I was younger I had really wavy hair but my mom permed it to make it straight, but its boring. I really don’t want to put anymore perms I have went without one for a year but I keep my hair up using my flat iron. What should I do?
Hi Jasmine,
You sound as if you are transitioning back to natural. Here are some tips to get you through that period- 7 Tips To Take Care Of Transitioning Hair
Hey I’m frm south africa!I relax my hair 1nce my hair gets to thick but if could stop relaxin it I would is there any other things or stuff I can use other than relaxer I don’t advise relaxing cause with me 1nce I started using I had to do it again because otherwise my hair grows thick I absolutely hate it!! What can I do or use instead of relaxer?
Hi Patricia,
I researched some alternatives here: Alternatives To Relaxers For Straight Hair or Defined Curls
hello i am 17 years old and i have relaxed(perm) hair nd it is kinda thining my hair out i have familt tht go natural nd it is very helpful to there hair so idk what i should do .. i heard as u get older nd u still ge perms your hair will break all the way off .. is that true?
Hi LaTisha,
It is very true, that not caring for relaxed hair properly will eventually lead to breakage because relaxed hair is weaker hair, relaxers break the protein bonds in the hair. The protein bonds are like a wall, your hair’s defense against everything that you throw at it, when these walls are broken down you have to work very hard to get the hair to be strong again, that’s why you will find that some people will have lovely thick relaxed hair for years because they work at it staying that way. If you are willing to work at getting your hair to stop thinning out you can start here: What Is The Secret To Having Longer, Thicker Relaxed Hair?
ok thank you that realy helped me alot but i mean ok your opinion.. do you think its better to go natural or stay relaxed? or is it ok to chaange from one to the other ?
Should I relax my hair if I have leave in conditioner in it…that was put in two days ago…I have transitioned to natural hair seven months ago n I want my relaxed hair back..I did the big chop when I trasitioned..
Hi Chynna,
It is not recommended to have any products in your hair before you relax.
O yea n the leave in conditioner is cantou shea butter cream..what should I do?
Wash it out and wait a couple of days.
Hi I’m Osa my family says that I have good hair and I don’t need to relax it but I want something easier and I think that I don’t think if I do it once that I will ruin my hair………. will I?
Hi Osa,
Relaxing the hair is a chemical process that involves breaking the protein bonds in the hair, once it is done your hair cannot revert, it will have to grow out. Your hair will require more attention and care when relaxed or it will break. Persons who have seemingly healthy relaxed hair, take care of it. So you have to make up your mind if you want to take those extra steps in maintaining your relaxed hair. If you are willing to and you understand the whole process go for it.